Jaycee's Blog - Tue, Dec 7

The night at the strip club was pretty awesome, thanks for asking. And it looks like with enough faerie dust, some of these strippers don't mind having sex with an invisible man.

Just sayin'.

Today was a fair bit of fun too. It wasn't exactly a sexy gift, but I was able to force the truth out of anyone simply by asking a question or willing the person to answer the truth. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't resist answering the question and the only answer they could give was the truth.

Since I live alone, I couldn't test it on anyone, so I went for a morning coffee (braving some exceptionally crappy weather) at Maestrom, a nearby café for hipsters (they also serve alcohol at night, which I think is a great concept). The coffee girl there (Francine) is very pretty despite her goth-with-tattoos facade. I go there fairly often, so we've gotten friendly, sometimes even a little flirtatious. But since I live with faeries (and how things ended up with my last girlfriend Martine), I've sworn off dating and never pushed it any further. I do think she likes me, though.

At any rate, I ordered my coffee, thanked her upon delivery, and delivered my question as casually as I could manage.

"Say, how big are those puppies?" I asked, wagging my index from one boob to the next.

I'll admit being a bit nervous, but I figured the faerie gifts of the last few days had all worked out in my favor, so this one should as well. Faeries can be unpredictable, but would they screw me on this one, of all gifts?

"34B," she said matter-of-factly. Then she clasped her hand over her mouth. "Oh my God! I can't believe I said that!"

She blushed in mild embarrassment, looking around to see if anyone else had heard. Thankfully, we were alone. I figured I could press my luck a little.

"Maybe you wanted me to know about that. What do you think?"

"M-maybe," she answered hesitantly. More blushing.

I raised an eyebrow. Maybe there was something behind all this flirting. I decided to push my luck a little.

"Do you like me? I mean, do you sometimes fantasize about kissing me, maybe doing more?"

"Yes," she answered, her face turning beet red. "Yes I do..."

Oooh, score!

"Tell me about those fantasies?"

And here, gentle readers, is where I censor her answer because she used language I absolutely did not expect from her. Suffice it to say that she had elaborated a few scenarios involving me that would make Sophie blush. When she was done, she realized what she'd just said, covered her mouth with both hands, stared at me wide-eyed, then rushed off to the kitchen. I took my coffee and left the shop before I got into any trouble (you never know).

 I spent all day working. I can confirm that my daily gift doesn't work over videoconferencing, so I wasn't able to use it on my co-workers. I wouldn't have wanted to do it much anyway for fear of being recorded. Who wants to deal with HR, right?

I thought about it all day, trying to figure out what would be the best use for this ability. Sure, maybe I could use it to find a girl that's attracted to me and lure her into some kind of one-night stand, but it's not like I'm in desperate need for sex these days. Then it hit me!

Olivia Tremblay! A.k.a. Jehovah Girl, a.k.a. the girl who helped us get into the Scientology Church to rescue the faeries six months ago. I knew her she still worked there (I've discretely kept tabs on her) and thought it might be useful to pry more information from her. When I had interrogated her back in May, she'd only given me information necessary to rescue the faeries, but had adamantly refused to give me any names related to the Coterie (see this entry). Now, with this daily gift, I could find out more and maybe tackle these assholes. Maybe hurting them could be payback for killing Minx.

I couldn't do that looking like myself, though. This would certainly freak Olivia out and she'd call for help the moment she saw me. I told the faeries what I had in mind and asked if they wouldn't mind turning me into someone else just so I could approach her. They got into a huddle and discussed it among themselves, then returned with the answer: yes, they'd do it. And they had the perfect cover to help me with my plan. Without asking permission or giving me a hint, they cast a spell and changed me into...

Robert Downey Jr.

Iron Man himself. Well, fuck me! That was actually pretty clever, I thought. Sure, it'd draw a fair bit of attention, but folks in Quebec don't harass celebrities when they're going about their business. They're tourists like everybody else. And if anyone could get someone from Scientology to sit down and just talk, it'd be a celebrity like RDJ.

So I was on my merry way. I waited for the right moment and intercepted Olivia as she came out of the Church of Scientology. I pretended to bump into her, apologized, complained about the very cold weather, and asked her if she knew a good coffee shop nearby where I could get warm.

She looked at me in shock, recognizing the face I was impersonating. She recovered quickly, said "Yes, Mr. Downey, I know the perfect place," and took me there herself.

"Thank you," I said when we got there. "Look, I'm by myself at the moment, please let me buy you a coffee. It's the least I can do."

She graciously accepted, perhaps sensing an opportunity to bait another celebrity into joining Scientology. If that was the case, perfect! So long as she thought that, she'd stick around instead of running away when my questions got indiscreet.

We chatted for a fair bit. I played the wounded movie star struggling with life under the limelight and she listened sympathetically. I unloaded a string of made-up challenges that I extrapolated from Downey's troubled past until it was clear she saw me/him as a mark. Perfect. She was hooked.

I (cleverly, if I do say so myself) directed the flow of conversation toward Scientology and asked her if it was true they were part of a more secret organization.

"You can trust me," I said, "this stays between us."

"Yes," she said. "It's called the Coterie and it collects everything arcane."

It took me another half hour of careful questioning and reassuring her that I was genuinely interested in joining Scientology to learn the name I was looking for: Master Derek St-Pierre, Second Tier Initiate and (it turns out) a local politician.

She couldn't tell me much about him because she genuinely didn't know anything else. I kept the conversation going for a bit, just to alleviate any suspicion, then pretended I had a dinner appointment soon. I thanked her for her company and went back home (making sure I wasn't being followed to be safe).

Derek St-Pierre, huh? Let's see if my daily gifts can't help me trap this guy or something...

--Jaycee