It Begins...

Hello nurse,

Tonight is the first rehearsal for the Slouching Towards Bethlehem show, which I have playfully dubbed "Slouching Towards Branson."

A test audience of Patreon members will be coming together at Backroom Studios in New Jersey, and I'll be doing the show (to the best of my ability) for them and using the experience to fine tune what I have prepared. If you've got a ticket to it, make sure you bring it with you, along with some ID! Please be ready to have your bags "checked" and your mobile devices turned off and locked away during the run-through. If you're not comfortable with that, please let me know, and I'll refund your ticket plus fees.

I'll likely be asking for feedback afterward, so feel free to stick around for a discussion post-performance. Anyone who wants photos/signatures/whatever is more than welcome to ask. Make sure to respect the venue and staff!

Please be patient with me tonight, because I am a mess.

I had what was supposed to be a very small surgery last Monday, but it turned out to be rather significant, (they took out all of my bones) so I'm in a bit of pain and slightly limited in mobility. I may also have to take a painkiller, so if that's the case I might also be temporarily an idiot. So please bear with me if I seem a little off-kilter, I can't miss the opportunity to test the show out for y'all but I might not be able to hide the owies. Also I like meeting fans and wouldn't miss it for the world. Well, maybe not the world, I won't kiss ass that hard, I'd miss it for a date or a birthday or like a doctor's appointment if I was worried enough. Or like if my dad said so.

Also I'm still working on the show, so there's that. If you're expecting a tight and polished performance, you're a buffool. Which is a cross between a buffoon and fool, and you don't want to be even one of those let alone such an embarrassing combination of the two. 

If any of you are ordained, please bless my Tylenol so that it may protect me. If you bring me cake, I will go "yahoo" like Super Mario and give you a chummy pat on the back. If you bring a cold ice pack, I'll let you meet Shayfer James. Otherwise he will remain in his sarcophagus behind three-inch-thick glass and mustn't be disturbed lest ye carry with you a dark and accursed cloud of pestilence for all your remaining days and nights. He's a mummy in this joke, I don't know why. Please note I have NOT taken my painkillers yet, so you can see why I am hesitating to.

P.S. there is a secret code hidden in this post, solving it will earn you the title of Most Gullible Yet Clever Gooseball. (Gooseballs is what I call my fans. Not woodworms or whatever. It's Gooseballs or College Girls)

No homo,
Will Woog