Know-it-all, Precision Shot (Hi-res)

Some stuff I've finished in the past week, one for taldret of Twitter and the other for newdarkcloud of Twitter! Putting them together since I've been so quiet.

I got stuck here for a bit on the painting. I'll spare you the details, but basically I had to repaint Taldren's piece a few times because I kept becoming wildly unhappy with where it was going (not by his critique, just my own standards). And then it sucked me into a perfectionist loop. Alongside house construction and mental health, the past month has been wild. But hey, how about that Endwalker expansion, eh? (must resist, shaun, must resisttt)

Anyways, enjoy! I apologize again that I'm a bit slow lately. (I swear I'm trying to work on that. It just stinks that everything is kind of in pieces around the house still. :<) Thank you so much for bearing with me, and for the support despite it. It's been immensely helpful during this period for things like groceries or minor bills. Thank you all so much. <3 Enjoy~

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haha youre in the higher tier so I -won't- spare you the details.

I dunno if it's just imposter syndrome, or depression, or anxiety, or what... But wow. The past month and some change has been rough. Bills have been stacking up, and as a result we won't have our bedroom back for a while longer than expected. I collapsed for a bit, mentally, as well -- Taldren's piece started off incredibly muddy and messy. I was so upset at myself, like my hands weren't working in tandem with my head. So I restarted... And then Windows decided to crap itself. So had to fix -that-, lost my settings. Got annoyed with brushes -again-, ended up overworking and ruining the piece and didn't have a back-up (that's on me). Started -again-. Plus trip to see friends in November, which went pretty well, and then a bit of a bad breakdown about a week or so ago...

Breakdown was rough. Twitter fed me some shit takes and really good art in tandem, alongside a piece from someone I had muted yet they decided to show me under "topics" anyways. Thanks for that. I was already on edge, annoyed from taking so long, that seeing someone saying "You should be able to finish a painting once a week or else don't call yourself a professional" and incredibly skillful Magic the Gathering pieces... Just... Yeah. Started again spiraling, wondering what I was doing with my life and my skillset, feeling hopeless and stupid.

I think I'm just tired. And nervous. A lot has been on edge, and murky with uncertainty, that I'm even starting to question what I'm doing. I'm better now, but for a while there, it was definitely rough to get out of bed in the mornings. I blame it being December now, alongside my age, compounding in it... Sometimes-- okay, a lot of times-- I feel like I missed the train and I'm running to catch up, able to see through the windows and seeing people I respect having fun and interacting, achieving great things. It's a lot of "I am left behind" feeling.

Just have to remember I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing this for me and for you guys, my patrons and friends. <3 I lose sight of that from time to time. Even if I'm trying hard to keep it in the forefront! I'm okay now though. I just gotta keep my head down, and push forward. One, because I have work to do and things to improve on still. And two, because I want this queue and some of these bills taken care of, so I can play FFXIV: Endwalker. gosh you guys i really want to but i cannot justify it but ahhh everyone is loving it ; ;

ANYWAYS. Enjoy~! Thank you all once again. Ya'll are the best. I will be back soon with a Spyro-involved piece for a big yellow dragon. c: