TEXT: New Idea That I Have No Idea If Mashed Will Approve Of

Today I would like to share an outline I wrote with the intent of showing it to the good folks at Mashed. They're good folks because they pay me to give them my ideas.

I call this one:

KIRBY: THE ELECTION

• Susanna Haltmann, zillionaire president of robotics enterprise Haltmann Works Company, descends upon Dream Land to declare her intent to run for office.

• King Dedede scoffs at the notion of an election, as he is the sole rightful monarch.

• Susie retorts that she received intel that King Dedede holds no legitimate authority over Dream Land, as he is merely a “self-proclaimed” king. In fact, Dedede’s entire book of laws is mostly empty, as he’d procrastinated on writing anything down.

• Schedule a debate; Susie is crowd-pleasing, brings up Dedede’s past failings

  • HALTMANN CAMPAIGN AD SLANDERING DEDEDE

• Dedede decides to pick Kirby as Vice-King (BWD hopes it’s him, gets misdirected)

• Susie picks Gooey as her VP to combat her image as a silicon valley phoney; VP debate, Gooey repeats everything she whispers in his ear. Kirby just says “HIIIII!,” the crowd says “Hi!!” back, and he walks away.

• Election day comes. The ballot only yields 10 votes, because everyone in Dream Land is lazy and lackadaisical. One slip just has the letter “S” which Susie accepts as a victory.

• Months later, after Susie has been coronated, and she’s put all her new policies in place, barely anything has changed. Everyone is just too chilled out to adapt to her ideas for stronger law enforcement.

• Susie just throws her plans aside and decides she’s going to enstate her new laws by FORCE.

• She hops into her giant mech and begins terrorizing the town. The heroic Kirby, seeing his home in danger, immediately hops into action to destroy Susie’s machine.

• End with Susie resigning to her defeat, realizing that the incompetence of Dedede’s reign is irrelevant as long as Kirby remains to keep the peace.

There's been a lot of political news lately, lots of election buzz going on around the world, so naturally, it's been on my mind. Mashed typically is wary of producing anything potentially controversial, so my intent with this is to just make something funny with a political campaign dressing to it that hopefully doesn't draw too many specific real-world comparisons.

I've sent this one over to Tom to review, but I haven't heard back from him about it. We're focused on a different video for the time being, understandably.

There's also an alternate version of the story where Meta Knight runs for office instead of Susie. I have that in the back pocket in case Susie is deemed too obscure to be a leading antagonist. I REALLY want it to be Susie though, I think she's just really fit for that sort of role and she'd be really fun to write for. I'm assuming the Meta Knight alternative will be more likely, however, which I understand.

What do you think of this idea? Is this level of political commentary just too biting for our ever-divided state of affairs? Or is it just biting enough? Let me know what you think of everything.