Dusk Chapter One (SLOW BURN)
Added 2021-12-20 03:32:19 +0000 UTCThis is the first chapter of my new slow burn weight gain series. There's still a lot of ground to cover with Army Wives. But I figure that, in the mean time, I might as well set the gears in motion for the follow-up.
THERE'S REALLY NO SMUT IN THIS. IT'S PURE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. IF ANYTHING, MOST WILL FIND THE CONTENT REVOLTING. I WANTED TO TRULY IMMERSE YOU GUYS IN THE MAIN CHARACTER'S HEAD AND ENVIRONMENT BEFORE I CONTINUED. I HOPE IT'S INTERESTING ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU HOOKED UNTIL THE FATS START.
Dawn is a nurse in the ICU at a hospital. She's ambitious. She's a natural leader. But unfortunately, she's also a fucking human being. Part of being a nurse is doing gross shit. So Dawn does some very gross shit to set things off.
I wish you all happy holidays and thank you for your continued support.
EDIT: Also I'm like 90% sure I'm going to detox in January. If this is the case I will suspend the billing cycle and you WILL NOT BE CHARGED. A more detailed post will come out this week.
Comments
No apologies necessary man, I very much appreciate the thoughtful feedback! I've learned a lot running this page and I've found I have a tendency to get panicky and sometimes even pandery when a story doesn't perform like I thought it would. I can be impulsive and reactionary. When I vomited that other comment I also wasn't in the best state of mind, to say the least. It's all good though, it's a learning experience. And it really helps to hear from you guys like this. I'd encourage all of you to do it, if you feel so inclined. So thanks!
Jack Torrance
2022-04-17 21:29:00 +0000 UTCSorry to comment on an old post but couldn't help but get interested by your reply go Tyler Gray. You absolutely have room to.go for more lighthearted stuff! The niche you've carved imo is slow burn, not death feedism. I know some are into that but what I see from.your comments and my own opinion is that once your stories get too far beyond the typical wg health issues (out of control appetite, gas, messy eating, embarrassment/humiliation, fitness deterioration, etc) and into genuine health issues and death feedism is when those aspects become secondary to the smut. I love the quality of your long stories and even the sad bits are good reads but most of your followers aren't getting off to those parts either. Imo MBH had enough smut to balance out but army wives had a few parts that felt.more story chapter-y to me. Your real appeal is in the slow burn. So many writers, even in multi-part stories, will just hop between time points and weights so fast, but I really prefer seeing weight gain progress over time. Watching a normal girl slowly pick up and worsten slobbish habits as her and her appetite grow out of control. Another writer to look at that I love and see mentioned a lot is logitechk1. All their stories are drawn out and some deal with darker themes still I guess but not the ways yours do, and they're gaining popularity fairly quickly. All of the stories are great but I mention them specifically because their older stories read like those quick popcorn wg stories you see so many of, but they still.managed to get the slowburn feel. Just trying to say that sad/serious doesn't automatically make it slow burn or vice versa, so don't feel stuck always having your biggest stories be something like army wives, I think a lot of your appeal can come from your pacing, not just your quality or writing topics, and speaking from the fetish perspective at least, the death feedism stuff would probably turn more people away than it would bring them in. Again, I like the more serious stuff as actual interesting story, and it certainly sets your writing apart from many, but don't be scared of people running away if you leave it out. I'd assume most people here are also looking for more smut after all.
Ryan Caday
2022-04-17 20:50:27 +0000 UTCI wouldn't say it's necessarily bad to delve into those expressions of emotion as a writer. Sure you're a smut writer but there's not really another writer doing stuff to this kind of extent and playing with these kind of intense emotions (i.e the sadness and depression) which are difficult to read sometimes, which makes your work very unique within the community and that shouldn't be downplayed. Tbh I do get anxious whenever I see a new Army Wives chapter because I'm aware it could be a very depressing read, but the mixture of that with the smut makes for a really interesting combo. Feel like there could be a tad bit more smut to compensate? But idk, that's my two cents and you gotta stick to your vision. I'm on the same boat as well where I can tend to skim through that stuff but really only because it's tough to stomach which, again, speaks to your abilities and uniqueness as a writer.
Addnime
2021-12-21 06:07:21 +0000 UTCI really appreciate this comment, man. And I most certainly won't be ignoring it. I don't get much feedback in one way or the other on my patreon stuff, so my only real way of telling if I'm putting out good content is how much money I make month to month. If people are canceling in droves, I'm fucking up. If they're pledging and I'm earning as much or more than I earned the previous month I consider myself headed in the right direction. But even though money talks, I do think it's very important for me to hear shit like this. I don't pander in the traditional sense of the word. But I do write the kind of content that I THINK the majority of my audience will enjoy. Since Moving Back Home was my biggest story, I feel compelled to return to that sort of formula, but with new premises, characters, and conflicts. But I also worry I'm getting too far up my own ass creatively and that I'm losing sight of the fact that I'm a smut writer and it's my job to make people cum, not cry. But as my audience grows it gets harder to please everybody. I do really love writing more lighthearted kinda stuff like 50 Shades and etc. The trouble with my stuff is that I write these gigantic fucking sagas that are huge gambles creatively. If a story sucks and I continue to hemorrhage pledges, it's gonna snowball. Because all I'm gonna think about is how I need to end this shit series and replace it with something more viable. Which means future installments will be rushed, half assed, etc. Which all means less money at the end of the month. And I only have 4 slots per month. And if a story is doing really well, like army wives for example, it might occupy two of them. So I gotta pick and choose very carefully. But that's all part of the package imo. I signed up for this and worked my way here. And you gotta pay to play. I feel like I've carved out a niche for myself with stories like MBH. Slow burn, character driven kinda stuff. When I jerk off I jerk off to stuff from MollyCoddles, BoboTheHobo, AdiposeRex. I don't get why my content hits the way it does. It's the last thing I'd reach for when I have a hard on. So I think the disconnect there can work against me at times. At the end of the day, man, I agree with you. I need to find a balance. Which is why I'm taking the next month off. I need to get my head on straight, sober up, etc. But I read you loud and clear. And I very much appreciate your criticism and honesty. As nice as it is to get the praise, I do wish I'd hear more about what people didn't like or were getting sick of seeing with my stuff.
Jack Torrance
2021-12-21 04:28:55 +0000 UTCI feel you bro. I'm strung out so bad I'm actually very very very ready to kick. Best of luck.
Jack Torrance
2021-12-21 03:38:04 +0000 UTCJanuary detox gang! Not excited at all…
Snow jerry
2021-12-21 02:01:45 +0000 UTCI think authors listening to their audience and giving them exactly what they want can be a trap—often giving up what makes the author unique and resulting in something generic. The best advice might be to ignore what I’m about to say. I’ve kind of been waiting for Army Wives and Lauren the Lurker to be over, hoping that the next long-form story would be more similar to the other works I like. My favorites are stories like The Mistress Next Door, Fifty Shades of Gravy, Big Betty’s, both Grooming Gregs, DMN42, and Moving to the Fat Farm. I guess my favorites involve an actual feeder and feedee. I also enjoyed Moving Back Home because it was just a nonstop fattening frenzy, The Mad Feeder because of the sizes they reached, and the intimacy of Dr. Gladwell. I’m not all that into death feedism, Russian gangsters, or bariatric surgery, but I could appreciate them in those stories because of the overall quality. This part is probably just me, but I find parenthood boring and military life not relatable. The depressing side-stories besides the main character’s weight gain aren’t for me. Maybe if I were shopping for a sad novel and not weight gain erotica, I’d be more into that level of characterization. But I end up skimming through people crying about deployments and failing relationships, reading the one part involving food, and then rereading Grooming Greg. Sometimes a good long-form story takes setup. I like how stories like Moving Back Home and Moving to the Fat Farm started with someone else’s obesity while setting up the actual main character’s weight gain. We can get off on fatty goodness while still setting up the stark contrast between the beginning and end with the main character. A 67 year old man shitting himself is not really my thing. Maybe some rich feeder whisks Dawn away from her disgusting life and watches her become a tanned blob overflowing a pool deck chair while attentive servants weed and feed her beyond immobility? But I’m thinking Dusk might instead become another story I skim while waiting for the next Mistress Next Door. But again, an author needs to write what inspires the author. While I might love a long-form story from you set in the Paige’s Roommate (by StudioFA) and Maggie’s Fattening Story (by theKoudelka) universe involving Corpulex 7, maybe that kind of pandering would dull the edge of your stories, which I do like. And maybe I’m the only one who thinks like this. But I’ve been thinking about it for a while and wanted to bring it up!
Tyler Gray
2021-12-20 23:50:34 +0000 UTCI loved the intensity you brought to this initial chapter. The whiplash between all the different demands and the unforgiving high stakes make for a real “deep end” introduction to life in the ICU.
Candice M
2021-12-20 17:29:41 +0000 UTCThis is a really intriguing set-up. I don't mind a little scene setting, I was into it enough where I didn't miss the fat stuff.
MrWrong1
2021-12-20 15:30:39 +0000 UTCRight I was thinking the same thing, it's different than a lot of my other work for sure.
Jack Torrance
2021-12-20 14:47:42 +0000 UTCInteresting start for sure. MC seems a little controlling & cocky, but still far better than some of your other characters (personality-wise, not quality.) Also, not a setting I've gotten into that much, so I'm curious to see a wg story play out in a hospital.
Ryan Caday
2021-12-20 12:53:03 +0000 UTC
