The Infamous John and Jan Part IX (FINALE!)
Added 2022-12-18 18:22:02 +0000 UTCThere we have it, folks. I have to admit I think this series sucked overall but I think the ending redeems it on some level. And with it being over it allows me another slot for more original content in January.
Comments
All valid points. I'm sure it's obvious at this point but I didn't know what I was doing at all with this one. When I started it I was going through some bad writers block and just slapped the first one together to have something to put out. It's not how I usually go about my work. Lesson learned, I need to put a lot more forethought into my stuff before I put it out. It was very much a week to week seat of my pants kinda thing. And the longer it went on the more I realized that and just wanted to get it over with so I could redeem myself with other stuff. I fucked up with this one, man. I apologize.
Jack Torrance
2022-12-19 09:50:55 +0000 UTCI feel like this had great potential, but the ending just seemed so rushed and ruined. I mean how hard would it of been to have got back control of their CCTV systems and lock her out. Then just sneak a bunch of sleeping pills into her food to knock her out and look through her phone. There is no way that she would of been able to roll over and crush John like that, she wouldn't of been able to reach her arm over to pull herself over, and even if she could, it would of taken so much time and effort John could of just got up and done a bunch of chores before she got close to rolling onto her side. And then finally her pretending to have been held captive just goes straight out the window when all Jan would have to say is that they were all involved in a sexual feeding relationship and that Lyla wanted it, with proof that she had access to her phone the whole time and didn't call for help and that she only called for help after killing John
ExtremeFeeder
2022-12-19 04:52:58 +0000 UTC
