I'm Abandoning WG Fic Because I've Accepted God, Gotten Sober, and Intend on Going Back to School, Getting a Real Job, Getting Married, and Having Children.

I've yet to manifest this perhaps lofty goal but I already feel morally superior to all of you. Now that I've been to church twice I feel renewed and cleansed of my sins. The baggage and low self esteem that fueled nearly 20 years of substance abuse has been lifted from my shoulders and for the first time in my life I'm content. I can live in the moment and I'm happy. And since I'm going back to school to go get a cubicle job (idk which one yet I'll just major in whatever Grok tells me to) I won't be needing supplementary income to write these horrid stories where perverts like you get off to really tragic and grotesque stories you should be ashamed of enjoying. You can be saved. I know I am. I will pray for you all from my ivory tower.

JUST JOKING EVERYBODY JUST JOKING. I'm still a drug addict and I'm still just as resentful and restless and spiritually broken as ever. I will never go back to school nor will I marry nor have children. It's not an incel thing it's an unwillingness to change or grow up thing. The real job thing probably won't happen either unless I wake up one day with any kind of skill or the aptitude to learn one. I say "real job" not to put anyone down but to parrot the sentiment that's been shrieked into my head by an endless slew of harpies who think that if I do what they did I'd be happy and fixed.

But I'm not gonna be writing weight gain fic anymore. At least not for money. For once I'm not gonna yammer endlessly and I'll get to the poiint.

I just think my new shit kinda sucks and I was too fucked up when I started it and too fucked up in general and it's becoming clear that my heart isn't in this as much as it once was. It also takes up a lot of my free time and as much as I've loved the creative freedom you guys give me it would be nice to not have to meet a word quota every month and just write when inspiration strikes. About whatever I want. Not that I don't love fat girls but I love other stuff too and I already torture you guys with my non-smut chapters of my pretentious wannabe epics anyway.

I feel like a prick doing this when I have like 4 series on the stove you guys are invested in. But I'm almost 34 which is young especially for a guy who won't have a wife and kids to support or love. But I lead a remarkably unhealthy lifestyle and that becomes more and more apparent with each passing year. I've even genuinely contemplated getting into the program which I don't expect a round of applause for but even when I was shooting heroin and crystal meth every day the idea of quitting was non-negotiable for me. I could be clean until I could move out of my parents' house but I'd never fully quit.

I'm just kinda done. It's not personal. I've met so many wonderful people in this community, many of whom I idolized, and I wrote one classic story and a shaky follow up and then became sporadic in quality as my drug use escalated until I had to detox, come out, fall off the wagon, spiral, pull it back, spiral, pull it back, spiral, pull it back, but never get sober.

So in addition to being in no position to charge people for my art I also don't think there's much left for me to do here anymore. I can milk it for all its worth until any respect anyone had for me is gone or I can leave abruptly with many unfinished projects and an uncertain outlook on my future. Neither are the ways I'd prefer to leave you guys. But I gotta go with the lesser of two evils.

I have things I want to do outside of the wg genre and it's my hope that these things will, at the very least, relight the fire in me and replace the carrot on my proverbial stick. Ideally they'll open new doors for me or opportunities or just be fun enough to make me ease up on the substance abuse. Any of those things are better for me than what i'm doing right now.

I will pop up on Deviantart with a story every now and again when inspiration strikes. I could never leave all the way. You guys were the first people to give me a chance at a time when I'd dealt with so much rejection, discouragement, insults, mockery, and condescension that I was convinced I was never a good writer and had completely resigned myself to dying with. a needle in my arm. I shit you not. Zero self worth.

When I got my first check for Fat Lady's Assistant I felt the happiest I maybe ever have. In my mind that validated me. I needed that so much. I've only ever worked shitty dead end jobs and I've always felt stupid and useless and like I never really fit in anywhere. Dumb but just smart enough to know how dumb I am and the grim future that awaited me. Having somewhere where people enjoyed what I made and sent me messages about how much they liked it and read into it genuinely kept me from doing very dumb shit over the years.

Which, again, is why I feel bad doing this now. But it's the best thing for me. Seriously you guys, you have no idea how much I needed to feel useful these last few years. And I don't wanna make you worry with the drugs and stuff. That's my cross to bear and I've been around the block way too many times for anyone to pity me. In a lot of ways I'm a big baby who won't change and I take full responsibility for that. Definition of insanity etc. etc.

I'll still be here. I just won't have a word quota every month. I'll be writing other stuff and doing other stuff and hopefully making incremental lifestyle changes that lead to positive change.

The billing cycle will remain paused over here. I asked DeviantArt weeks ago how to do it there and they told me to just delete my subscription tier and assumedly all the content I had to format specifically for their website with it. That and their embrace of AI has left me very pessimistic of not only how they treat their creators but writing as a whole. I'll never quit writing. It's what I was put here to do. But historically the worst times produced the best art. And that hasn't been the case despite these days being pretty bleak. I hope I'm wrong. I really do.

Eventually all my shit will end up on DA for free. Don't sub. Just wait. When I have an idea for a good one you know I'll put it up. And it'll probably be better than my recent work becasue it'll be more organic.

And look at that. I took what I could've said in three sentences and turned it into a fuckin' master's thesis. Very on brand.

I love you guys. I really do. I can't thank you enough. I'm on Discord as STC9892 if you ever wanna talk to me under the influence and take screenshots that would derail my career if I had one.

Bye but not forever,

-STC